I create the life I desire

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I recently exchanged messages with a girl friend about how I keep finding myself referring back to ‘being in transition’ + how it seems like my life is a constant transition. ever evolving. stable but so unstable at the same time. she replied with the idea that we are ever changing beings + that some transitions are simply bigger than others. all we can do is show up the best we can everyday and commit to the work. marissa you are a wise soul.

the last 2 years of my life have felt like my biggest period of growth. a change of career. a move. a breakup. trying to navigate an oh-so familiar world as a very different person might have been the hardest of it all. I am in constant reminder to myself to stay on track of who I am becoming vs. falling into old patterns that define who I have been. uncovering my own truth, facing my shadows, all while taking the time to heal my heart, brought me to this place right here. 

I sometimes catch myself feeling guilty about my journey + the path I have chosen to walk. is teaching yoga actually a real job? who am I to share these teachings? maybe its not conventional + it sure as hell doesn’t look like a 9-5 monday-friday, but I do the work. I might not have a university degree, but I spend lots of time + money on my professional development, which also elevates me hold value in my personal development.

in a recent women’s circle I came to realize that I am worthy of living the life of my dreams + the only one stopping me from getting there is myself. if I let myself hold onto the self-limiting thoughts + opinions of others I will never get to where I hope to be one day. I am deserving of all of life’s pleasures without guilt.

I spent years working at lululemon and I can remember so vividly a conversation I had with my coworker michelle about vision + goals. I wrote a vision of my dream life 10 years from then, down to every little detail of smells, colours + tastes. reading that vision out loud to her was terrifying. what was she going to think? am I insane for wanting a life like this? the judgment + fear of failure over took me as the words trembled from my lips. at that point my ideal life felt so far away that the chance of failure heavily outweighed the chance of accomplishment. fast forward 3 years, here I am moving in the direction I desire, in power of creating the life I long for. I still have a long way to go, but the distant idea now feels like it is in arms reach.

decide what kind of life you want to live. say yes to anything that moves you towards your dream + no to anything that isn’t that life.

fuck what other people think.